Dear Family and Friends:

I’ve spent the last three months turning in over 200 job applications. Holy moly!!!! Is it the current state of our job market? Or my inability to stand out in a crowd of over 100 applicants per job/career opening? Maybe it’s my lack of experience? Am I applying for the wrong jobs? Or most recently, does my personality even fit the job? Where exactly do you obtain this, “experience,” when all openings require said, “experience? I really have no idea.

I keep getting told/continuously remind myself that one day, my career will arrive and I will understand exactly why none of these other options seemed to work. But then again, I get told  that about every aspect of my life. Whether it’s boys, careers, what tattoo I should/shouldn’t get, a lot of the same rules apply:

The right career/man/idea will happen. Patience matters.

All the other careers/men/ideas you really liked/wanted to work weren’t worth your time. But kind of might have been. Did you have fun?

Your career/he/it should make you feel worthy of the time you’ll be investing. You should feel respected and valued by the company/him/it too.

Distance shouldn’t matter, if it’s something you really want to invest your time in. 

I mean, there’s a plethora of advice I’ve been given but it all pretty much boils down to these four. Good advice? Absolutely. Will I listen? Maybe.

Besides those words of wisdom to my fellow new grads and gratitude to the ones that offered the advice, I wanted to address the crazy behavior I’ve been having lately. I thought I might be going through some weird depression, or health problem the other day so, instead of turning to drugs, I turned to WebMD. I clicked my symptoms, went through the regular procedure and to my surprise got, “Menopause,” as a top result. Menopause?! I’ve barely made it to my child bearing age! Omg when I actually do approach, “the change,” is it going to be a million times worse?!? (Everyone beware!) I then realized that this insane drive to do well, have a career, travel, be happy, have friends blah blah was turning me into this really crazy monster. I’m happy, don’t get me wrong, but it’s triggered this high stress I was never prepared to deal with in my post grad life. A stress even higher and more intense then that which you experience during finals. And believe me, it’s gone haywire during finals for me, but that’s to be saved for another blog.

Getting back on topic, the smallest things upset me nowadays and I know a lot of you have noticed. For example, I went out to dinner the other night and the server presented me with what seemed like, 68734905724298365 options for my meal. I literally almost broke down and cried. Thankfully, I didn’t break down and cry. I just said, “Ok,” leaving the waiter absolutely confused. He rolled with it and gave me whatever, with the help of my family.

But let’s get to the point I want to make here. THANK YOU FOR BEING MY SUPPORTIVE AND PATIENT FRIENDS AND FAMILY. I know you all hate it when I have my minor meltdowns, hissy fits, “Get this done now!” times followed by my, “omg! You’re the best!, moments but I’m beginning to understand myself and what I really want in life( I mean does anyone ever figure that out?). Don’t worry, i’ll be back to me soon, if that’s still who I actually am? Again, so many things I was never, and may never be, ready for. The post grad life has seriously brought out this volatile mix of emotions that literally drive me nutzo.

I think this all began when a friend of mine sincerely asked me how post grad life was, noting that it could be hard to get used to (Well shit! I wish someone had told me that sooner!). I fibbed, a little, and said it was great, obviously because it sometimes is, but the point was that no one had asked me that yet. From that point, I began to really question myself and go into that blah blah inner journey, soul searching phase, is finding a career now really the best option? What should I do now? So many questions. (Again, so much gratitude goes to that friend.)

So here I am, ranting about my post grad life. I’ll probably look back on this and think, “Wow! I thought I really knew then…” but I thought you  all might want to understand me now. And understand that not being in school for the first time in almost 20 years has really taken its hold on me. It’s a seemingly endless journey with no absolute plans. It seems like it sucks one day, but it is the best the next. And that all effects my mood greatly.

I’m starting to understand that a lot of us have no idea what we’re doing. That I’m not the only one. And this pressure to do well is hard for us. The job market is completely saturated. As millennials, we grow up in a time where there is not enough jobs available to us. Where we are competing against men and women who have been in our chosen fields for far many more years than us, but yet still do not have the experience to have a stable career.

But let’s not get too deep into it. If you want to talk about it, I would be happy to talk more with you, in a more private setting. (Wow. I think this post might win, “Most feelings shared,” as you all understand I’m very private.) The main point here: New grads beware! And thank you friends and family for being so supportive and understanding. You’re the best!

AND most of all, thank you for reading my rant.

To new careers, challenges, and fun! Here we go to Arizona, maybe Texas, back to California, and all over the Pacific Northwest (And perhaps, some parts of middle America)! Let’s adventure!

Now, here’s an obligatory picture, with my favorite flowers, on my graduation day for the ones that love to breeze through post and look only at the pictures. It’s a good one, right?



But SF MOMA is right by my school. You all know what that means once they start the reconstruction…NO PARKING. But seriously, probably one of the best ways to say goodbye to SF MOMA for awhile!

My car has been out of commission for almost a week now so I definitely understand the pain of this article. Avoiding drivers, bikers, other people, running for buses, waiting for buses….the list of public transportation/not having a car woes goes on and on, but I’ll let Kovie Biakolo do the ranting.

…someone will cat-call you and follow it up with something like, “Hey girl, you’re looking good in those tights. Maybe I could go for a run with you sometime?” I always wonder what goes through someone’s head when they cat-call. Like, what do people who do this think is going to happen? Maybe one day, in the interest of sociological experiments, I’ll turn around and say, “OMG. You’re the man I’ve been waiting for my entire life. Let’s get married!” I’ll let you know what happens. 

Just how do you do it pedestrians?!?! I don’t think I’ll ever understand. 

I just realized I never did a Grammy wrap up! Well I started one, and just realized it’s been sitting in my drafts for about a month. So let’s do this! Instead of doing a usual play by play I thought I’d do a list. You know, because that’s what I’m okay at, within the blogging world. So here we go:

Things I Learned And Thought About After Attending The 55th Annual Grammy Awards:

1. WE ARE ALL EQUALS. Well, until we go into the, “live,” telecast.

Yup, that’s right. In all of the non live, non televised events, I am just as cool, and popular as my closest friends. You know, Justin Timberlake, Adele, Kaskade and Taylor Swift. But more seriously, all of the pre events are open seating, meaning you might find yourself sitting by Tyrese, or Steve Aoki, or if you’re lucky, Beyonce. But, once you step into Staples Center, you really find out your worth in The Recording Academy. Yes, I am incredibly thankful I was invited, but one day, I’ll be up there in the, “Diamond Level,” too! The Grammy’s was a great, “pat on the back,” for all the hard work I took part in this year, but it’s time to work ALOT harder.

2. There’s not as much alcohol flowing as you think. In fact, there isn’t enough! Is there any at all?!

There’s a ton of stadium food, but, surprisingly, no where is an alcohol booth to be found! Both a great idea, and a bad idea from The Recording Academy. Great, because we won’t have any obnoxious, outward drunks walking around but bad, because The Recording Academy is missing out on alot of money here. Alot, of enjoyment too,  I presume. Apparently, musicians can’t control their liqueur. Surprising?! I think not.

3. How the hell do celebrities see the teleprompter from where they’re standing?!

So if you look from the stage to the teleprompter, you’ll notice they’re about a football field away from each other. I’m absolutely serious. You must acquire some kind of 20/20 vision when you sell your first multi platinum album. There is the smaller stage, closer to the teleprompter, but still, so far!

4. It’s extremely cute to see grown ups dressed in their best black tie outfits, eating fine foods, like McDonald’s, at Staples Center.

Just look:


Ok, I didn’t get a pic of people in REALLY fancy outfits getting McDonald’s, but this works, right? It’s just sooo adorable. It’s all the food provided for Lakers games, but to a very well dressed crowd!

5. Some celebrities think they rule the world, while other are incredibly humbled to be at the event.

I won’t mention any names, but it seems as if some celebrities feel the show starts once they arrive. Granted, some of them are the most popular, hardworking, successful people in the our business, but still, a little humility goes a long way. I guess this is true for any major event.

6. Finding your way into this event is gloriously confusing.

No one has any idea where to go. Granted, the LAPD was on close watch, due to the Christopher Dorner situation going on at the time but please, tell them where to send the guests. (NEWS FLASH: The Staples Center is NOT in a great area.) I’m glad that you can check my ID to make sure that I, a 5’3, fair skinned, Asian American girl is indeed not an almost 200 lb African American male named Christopher Dorner, but please, it’d be great if you could point me in the direction of Grammy attendees. Also, it’d be great if you could keep an eye on me as I walk down East Figueroa in my prettiest dress… in the cold. Oh, and one more thing, stop asking me, “Do you have a ticket, miss?” in your most condescending voice. I do, and I won’t be taking you as my +1 next year. So there. Thanks, LAPD.

7. The Grammy Awards are actually two stages. Television magic makes it as it there is only one.

I feel like I knew this from my line of work, but I didn’t really KNOW this. What you don’t see on television is that a huge stage is actually split in half. While one performer is performing, another is setting up on the other side of the stage. It’s kind of like crop rotation, if you’ve ever been on a farm, but faster. Like in the span of 15 minutes.

8. The Pre-Telecast consists of most of the awards while the Live-Telecast is just a bunch of your industry best promoting their newest work.

I’m still having trouble deciding which part was my favorite. I love watching live performances, but there’s just something sooo humbling and charming about watching the people you love and support make their way up to a stage and give thanks for their own hard work. Skrillex, you might have been my favorite person to accept an award that night. You’re so charming!

9. Just one educator wins the newest Grammy? SERIOUSLY?!

The Recording Academy, along with the help of Justin Timberlake and Ryan Seacrest, unveiled a new award this year; The Grammy For Music Educator of the Year. I have yet to have someone answer my question. Just one? How are we supposed to decide on ONE educator? OMG there’s millions of music educators! So wait, is this a popularity contest?

And finally some pictures:


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So there you have it. All in all, I know it sounds like I was completely judgy of The Grammys ( I was, I know), I had an incredible time. It’s really quite a huge pay off for working hard all year, attending meetings, and paying dues to my industry. Love you, sound engineering. Mostly because I get to brag to people that I’m an engineer(or almost one), but not that kind they’re thinking of. Anyway, who wants to be my date next year!?!?!

Ok, ok, I’m a little late, but it’s been a crazy end of 2012 and beginning of 2013. That, and I just felt I had nothing real to blog about. But today, I’m home sick and have watched more than enough Dr. Phil and Lifetime Network movies to last me a few lifetimes (see what I did there?). Anyway, I thought I should blog about something. After all, this has been my only downtime in the past two months.

So what have I been doing? Well, thank you for asking. School and work, school and work, same old, same old. But I actually have something to blog about for the next few weeks. And that is:

I’m going to the Grammy’s!!!! 

To be clear, that’s The Recording Academy’s 55th Annual Grammy Award Presentation. And yes, I’m a member, and yes, I will be there. It’s about to be an incredibly busy two weeks, but wow, what a privilege, right?!?!

Stay tuned!

Also, here’s my favorite song at the moment:





Thank you thank you thank you for being such an incredible friend, big brother, Burning Man roommie, and the only other person that takes longer to get to any destination than me! It’s been such a wonderful….how long have I known you now?…years. I hope your day is filled with cake, balloons, celebration and all the people you love!

With that being said, I can’t wait to celebrate, and share, more Burns, more vegetarian anniversaries, and especially MORE BIRTHDAYS!

Let’s party like we used to, and drink multiple jager bombs!!


P.S. The title refers to this moment:

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